It’s bad enough that I have to live in Apartment 13 with a black cat, but I also have a secret that I have never told anyone. We also live with The Red Devil of Dirt. He mostly lives in the back walk-in closet. Unfortunately he comes out about twice a week or so to terrorize the innocent. And the Human is always home when this happens and she does nothing! Nothing! Oh sure sometimes she might say “Malcolm, Teva, you might want to go hide under the bed now.” That’s not protection! That’s not what we expect, what we need from our Human! No! And get this… she often walks behind The Red Devil of Dirt as if he has some control over her. It’s quite worrisome. Disturbing!
Did you notice that she doesn’t give a warning to Ally. She doesn’t warn Ally to go hide under the bed. Nope. And there has to be a reason, and I think I have figured it out! She’s a minion of The Red Devil of Dirt! When he is swooshing around the apartment, making his non-stop growling noise, Ally just sleeps on the couch. She is the Minion of The Red Devil of Dirt!
I am not sure that Teva and I can live through this on-going cycle of terror! We can only spend so much time under the bed. And hey, I AM HEAD CAT! I shouldn’t be sent under the bed! I should be able to look at my human and make sure it is understood that we will not put up with the Red Devil of Dirt! No way! No how!And when I did try and explain this to her, do you know what she said? She said “As long as you plan to continue having fur, The Red Devil of Dirt will continue to visit!” HRMPH!!! And I think you all remember what happened when Teva chose the no fur option…… this:
I am not letting that happen to me!!!
However, one look at this guy and it almost makes a cat rethink that decision.
Today, however, was halloween, and the absolute worst possible thing happened. The Blue Devil of Dirt! He appeared! He just showed up! All I can think about is that that moaning Red Devil of Dirt conjured him up with a spell. And he came. To terrorize. To confuse. To leave a poisonous film on the carpet as he moves around the apartment. HOW COULD THE HUMAN ALLOW THIS TO HAPPEN???
I should apologize for posting these pictures. I did have a moment of bravery and snuck out to get pictures so that people would believe me that they exist. I hope these pictures of horror do not haunt your dreams.
It looks like Teva and I survived this round of d0uble horror. I do need to implore to you humans to think.. use your heads before allowing these Devils of Dirt into your homes. No good can come from them! NO GOOD! Please, think of the kitties!!!!!
Listen to me and the world will be a better and safer place. I beg of you!