Canada Calling….

27 Oct

Hello Peeps and Peepettes,

Now first off let me tell you that my plan is to do the advice column once a week, but damn man, you all are turning in some awesome questions. And the thing is, When Canada Calls…. you have to reply!

That’s right! Today’s letter is all the way from another Country!

I am International baby! INTERNATIONAL!

Alright.. let’s go!

Dear Malcolm,

I just discovered your blog, and have to say this is something the world has been missing – insight and wisdom from the mighty Orange cat (Heathcliff and Garfield are hacks compared to you). My question – I really love my old dog Cassie, but when the cats overthrow the human race for domination of the world, what will you do with all the dogs?

– Fordy

Dear Fordy Canada Fordster!


Top of the Mornin’ to ya


Throw some shrimp on the Barbie, Mate!


I would like to take a few minutes here and talk directly to that Canadian beaut named Cassie. Hey Cass! Bow Wow wow Woof Woof!

Now Fordy, bein’ that your Canadian and all, eh, you probably don’t know what I just said to Cassie. What I told her is that dogs hold a special place in this world. While we don’t see them as equals, eh, we do see the need for their existance. And I ain’t talking doggie slavery! No sir! No how! The only slaves I plan to have when I am rulin’ are named Ally-bob and Teva.  Don’t tell them that though, eh?  Anyway back to Cassie. Cassie is doing an awesome job taking care of the Fordsters and surely she will be rewarded. I’ve heard plenty of good things about her from my inside cat on the scene.

No worries Cassie! You’ll have a place of honor in my kingdom. Maybe a duchy in Scotland or something.  Okie, eh, dokie?

Yr Pal and Future leader,

Malcolm J. Scott.

Well that’s it for this awesome entry. Fingers crossed that someone from the Soviet Union make that Russia writes in soon. They probably need a lot of advice there!


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