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Things I’ve Learned about Life

8 Jan

Sometimes you don’t get all the space you need…

IMG_0020Sometimes there is light in the darkness..

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Sometimes you don’t get the coverage that you need…

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Sometimes when you are down and out, a little pink can make all the difference…

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But if you have a little spot to call your own….

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That’s all you need to feel like you are King (or Queen) of the World

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Life’s Good, Bitches!!

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DUDES!!!!!

8 Jan

My god, man! It’s been a year, exactly since I got all bloggy and stuff! A year! What kind of treatment

is that? I can’t imagine the pain that you, my dear readers, have endured in that time!

Never again my friends. Never again!malkie

It’s a photo spread!

11 Sep

Noted Catographer Nigel The Barker came over and we did another photo shoot. I was hot!

Dudes! What else did you expect!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The human thinks I have a shoe fetish, but I really just appreciate a good pair of work out shoes. Here are some fine NB 883s:

 

 

 

And today… the new Saucony ProGrid 9s – Great padding!

Here’s a great pic! It’s me trying to figure out how the hell anything can fit into the carrier! WTH:

Hey, Fans that’s all for now but keep checking back. We now have more computers than humans here, so obviously I will be able to get

on line all the time now!

Stay Awesome everyone! You know I will!

A Boy Possessed!

15 Jun

What? I love a good pair of New Balance 883s!

Coming soon….

22 Apr

That’s right….

You haven’t heard the last of me….

Keep an eye out on this space….

I might be getting all bloggy again….

But first….

I got some snoozing to do…..

Later!

Disturbed. Exhilarated. Confused.

27 Jan

It’s been so long since the human has let me blog, and I have oh so much to talk about. So this will be a long one! Certainly longer than Ally-bob’s tail… ha ha ha ha ha!


Part One: Disturbed

The human seems to be having some sort of mental disturbance. She keeps calling me Cathy! Cathy! What the H—?? I don’t get it.

It goes like this: It’s time to eat and she grabs my bowl to fill it up. I start talking to her. “Hey Human! Way to go! Get that bowl filled up! Get it going! What’s taking so long? Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!”

And she looks at me and says “All right Cathy, let’s go!”

Now when it happens, I am so hungry, I can’t think straight. It doesn’t dawn on me that she is saying “Cathy”. However as the urgency of my starvation wears down, it dawns on me. Cathy? Who the hell is Cathy?

Then, once I regain full use of my senses, it dawns on me. She is referring to this:

Here’s a close up of the horror:

And guess what? This Chatty Cathy hasn’t been able to talk for 44 years so I think calling me Cathy after her is an insult.. in more ways than one!

 

Part Two: Exhilarated

I did it! I did it! After years of trying! I did it!!!!!! I finally figured out the correct formula for the Protective Cat Hair Barrier! I have saved us from the Red Devil of Dirt! He is no more! Well, once the Human carries him out to the dumpster he will be no more. I killed him! I killed him dead! First he wouldn’t turn off – like he was possessed (hello.. it’s the devil!) and then the Human unplugged the plug of evil. He stopped. After about 20 minutes she plugged his evilness back in and he wouldn’t come on. She messed with his pedal thingy-ma-bobber and it wouldn’t move up or down! He was Dead! Dead! Ding Dong the Red Devil is Dead!

I did it! I won! Whoooooooo Hooooooo!


Part Three: Confused

Last Saturday, the Human informed me that she was going to get Kenny! Kenny was moving in. I didn’t know who he was, but apparently he is named Ken Moore. I don’t know why he is coming with a name at all, let alone a first and last name.

I didn’t come with a name when I moved in. However, if his name is Ken he must be a boy! A brother! For me! I hope he is orange! He better be orange!

I waited all day. So excited to finally get another male into this household. He probably will like to wrestle! He probably will like to run around! It will be so cool.

Hurry up and get old Kenny and bring him home! Ally-bob and Teva won’t know what hit them. I couldn’t wait! I couldn’t wait!

Then the Human came home. With a carrier! It was a little different than the carrier she takes me to the vet in, and I was a bit concerned as to how poor Kenny could breath.. but there he was! Kenny! My brother!

However, I am now troubled about this adoption. I am not sure but I think Mr. Kenny Moore might be more closely related to The Red Devil than the Orange Tabby. There’s been no wrestling. There’s been no running around. It’s been a very disappointing week. Very confusing.

Here’s Kenny:

 

It’s been disturbing.

It’s been exhilarating.

It’s been confusing.

It’s life with a Human, after all.


Happy New One…

2 Jan

Can I go back to sleep now?