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8 Jan

My god, man! It’s been a year, exactly since I got all bloggy and stuff! A year! What kind of treatment

is that? I can’t imagine the pain that you, my dear readers, have endured in that time!

Never again my friends. Never again!malkie


Merry Christmas to All!

25 Dec

Hello all Humans, Cats and Kittens! And Dogs too!


How about a look back at Christmas Past….

Whose that Angel? Wait, that ain’t no Angel.. that’s Ally-bob:

Don’t tell her I said so… but she was kind of chubby  back then!  And here too:

Oh boy… Glad she went on a diet!


Here’s some of Zeke-boy!


Look at Ty! Can you see her in this picture:


More of Ally:


After Ty and Zeke were gone, they humans had two youngin’s by the name of Teva and Huckleberry.  Or as Old Grandma called them The Darn Small Cats. So Darn Small Cats meant a Darn Small Tree:

They put a red plastic table cloth under it to hide the table and instead it turned out to be perfect for hiding Teva:

And Teva got to play a bit too:


We couldn’t find any Christmas Pic of  good ol’ Huck but the Human found this picture that she thought would make a pretty Christmas Card:


Notice anyone missing? Someone Orange maybe? Well here are some pictures taken today, but they were taken at a low point in my life:

Look! It’s me and the Christmas Tree:

And Presents! Who are they for????


Hold on! None of these are for me??? What??? Huh??? What??? I don’t believe it!!

It’s a sad sad day to be an Orange Cat. I am trying to find something Awesome about it, but I just don’t know….

I guess there is nothing left for me to do then close my eyes and dream of sugarplums dancing in my head .. whatever those are:



MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL… and to all a good night!


Christmas Decorating Embarrassment!

28 Nov

Dudes! Help!

My human just got back from running errands, and so Ally and I ran into the hall. Once out there.. we were stunned. Frozen in our tracks.  We saw this:

Dudes! That is NOT our door!

THIS is our door:

That’s it! That’s it!

Does the human not understand? Does she not get that this is not the type of decorating that a cat of my stature requires! Bright lights! Constant Jingle Cats playing.  Hey maybe an announcement when ever anyone comes near our door that says “Merry Christmas. You are now nearing the door of that Awesome Orange Cat Malcolm. Peace to you!” But no!

Then she thinks she is making up for that sad sack door decoration by hanging this on the inside:

O.M.G! O.M.G!

What is happening here? Really? This is decorating? I am so so so so so so so embarrassed to be living here.

Oh and look at our tree:

Notice anything missing? She actually told another human in an email last night that she might just leave it undecorated this year, because it has lights and the lights are her favorite part.  I am sorry! I can not live like this! I need ornaments to pull off the tree! I need a tree skirt to lay on under the tree!

THIS IS A TRAVESTY!  I can not continue to live here in these conditions!  I need ornaments on the tree and I need them now!

Friends, here is a picture from the good ol’ days, when a human decorated, as a human should. Ah.. how I long for last year.

What? I’m not doin’ anything!

16 Nov

This is me… just hanging out in the hall. Doin’ nothing.



Oh look.. there is Ally, hiding on the shelf. I wonder why she is there? I’m not doin’ anything!



So now the Human is in the hallway, asking me what I am doing to Ally! I’m not doing anything! Ally takes advantage of the situation and runs away… look at that tail! Embarrassing!


And she makes it as far as the kitchen…. Not far away from me at all…. luckily for her, I’m not doing anything!


So here I lie… watching her every move. I mean, No! I’m not doing anything!


Whoo.. that wore me out. Here I am snoozing while the Human holds me like a baby….


Birthday Injustice!

13 Nov

Guys, I am really mad! Mad I tell you!!!!  Now I like to think that I am a selfless cat and I can’t help but lay here in the laundry basket and stew about this one. I can’t stand to see an injustice done and humans, there is a big injustice going on here!

The Victim:

Ally-bob Scott. The birthday girl!

For two days the Human has been telling Ally that she would be getting baby food for her birthday. BabyFood! I can’t wait!!!!!
So here is what happened. The human came home from work with about 25 sacks of groceries all full of baby food. (Editor’s note: make that about 5 bags and only two jars of baby food).  So the Human tells Ally that she could have a jar of baby food after midnight. I can’t wait!!!!!

So for the past hour, Ally has been going crazy! Whenever the Human moves an inch, Ally jumps up on to the table and gets in her “Feed me!!” position.  And the human then says “It’s too early Ally. You have to wait until Midnight”.

Well, This is an injustice! See this picture that I took about a half hour ago:

Here’s the deal humans. We cats don’t wear watches! We don’t carry cell phones! If you are going to tell us Ally that  we she has to wait until midnight then you better make sure that you remember to change all the clocks back when Day Light Savings time ends!

Got it???