It’s been so long since the human has let me blog, and I have oh so much to talk about. So this will be a long one! Certainly longer than Ally-bob’s tail… ha ha ha ha ha!
Part One: Disturbed
The human seems to be having some sort of mental disturbance. She keeps calling me Cathy! Cathy! What the H—?? I don’t get it.
It goes like this: It’s time to eat and she grabs my bowl to fill it up. I start talking to her. “Hey Human! Way to go! Get that bowl filled up! Get it going! What’s taking so long? Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!”
And she looks at me and says “All right Cathy, let’s go!”
Now when it happens, I am so hungry, I can’t think straight. It doesn’t dawn on me that she is saying “Cathy”. However as the urgency of my starvation wears down, it dawns on me. Cathy? Who the hell is Cathy?
Then, once I regain full use of my senses, it dawns on me. She is referring to this:
Here’s a close up of the horror:
And guess what? This Chatty Cathy hasn’t been able to talk for 44 years so I think calling me Cathy after her is an insult.. in more ways than one!
Part Two: Exhilarated
I did it! I did it! After years of trying! I did it!!!!!! I finally figured out the correct formula for the Protective Cat Hair Barrier! I have saved us from the Red Devil of Dirt! He is no more! Well, once the Human carries him out to the dumpster he will be no more. I killed him! I killed him dead! First he wouldn’t turn off – like he was possessed (hello.. it’s the devil!) and then the Human unplugged the plug of evil. He stopped. After about 20 minutes she plugged his evilness back in and he wouldn’t come on. She messed with his pedal thingy-ma-bobber and it wouldn’t move up or down! He was Dead! Dead! Ding Dong the Red Devil is Dead!
I did it! I won! Whoooooooo Hooooooo!
Part Three: Confused
Last Saturday, the Human informed me that she was going to get Kenny! Kenny was moving in. I didn’t know who he was, but apparently he is named Ken Moore. I don’t know why he is coming with a name at all, let alone a first and last name.
I didn’t come with a name when I moved in. However, if his name is Ken he must be a boy! A brother! For me! I hope he is orange! He better be orange!
I waited all day. So excited to finally get another male into this household. He probably will like to wrestle! He probably will like to run around! It will be so cool.
Hurry up and get old Kenny and bring him home! Ally-bob and Teva won’t know what hit them. I couldn’t wait! I couldn’t wait!
Then the Human came home. With a carrier! It was a little different than the carrier she takes me to the vet in, and I was a bit concerned as to how poor Kenny could breath.. but there he was! Kenny! My brother!
However, I am now troubled about this adoption. I am not sure but I think Mr. Kenny Moore might be more closely related to The Red Devil than the Orange Tabby. There’s been no wrestling. There’s been no running around. It’s been a very disappointing week. Very confusing.
It’s been disturbing.
It’s been exhilarating.
It’s been confusing.
It’s life with a Human, after all.