Gotcha Day, Gone and Went

19 Jun

It twas my “Gotcha Day” today and the human forgot. Heck if wasn’t for the Feline-L list, she never would have known!

That’s abuse, if you ask me!

 

How does anyone forget this?

 

Or this:

 

 

I know someone who celebrates my arrival every day!!! Guess who?

 

Yeah, she loves me.

 

And you know, I am always here.. watching everything… with one eye open to all….

 

 

 

And since I never get any babyfood for any occasion, I have to make due with what I can get my paws on … like back in April:

 

 

And just this past week:

 


I have heard that some people have been accusing me of having a shoe fetish, but you know, maybe if I got some baby food and maybe if I wasn’t always forgotten about, I wouldn’t have to turn to shoes. You know..

 

Well happy Gotcha Day to Me… I guess…

 

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A Boy Possessed!

15 Jun

What? I love a good pair of New Balance 883s!

Baby Who???

7 May

So, like, the human was running the vacuum and you know, I’m not a scardy cat like Teva, so I was just hanging out… behind the ottoman, next to the back of the couch, back by the wall. I wouldn’t call that hiding, would you?? No way. I am just hanging out.

So the human gets done vacuuming and says “Okay Baby Malcolm, you can come out from hiding”

WHAT?

She says it again “Come on Baby Malcolm. It’s safe now”

BABY MALCOLM???

Humans just don’t get it.

Whatever… I am just going to go lay in the sun and take a bath. Forget her!

Coming soon….

22 Apr

That’s right….

You haven’t heard the last of me….

Keep an eye out on this space….

I might be getting all bloggy again….

But first….

I got some snoozing to do…..

Later!

Disturbed. Exhilarated. Confused.

27 Jan

It’s been so long since the human has let me blog, and I have oh so much to talk about. So this will be a long one! Certainly longer than Ally-bob’s tail… ha ha ha ha ha!


Part One: Disturbed

The human seems to be having some sort of mental disturbance. She keeps calling me Cathy! Cathy! What the H—?? I don’t get it.

It goes like this: It’s time to eat and she grabs my bowl to fill it up. I start talking to her. “Hey Human! Way to go! Get that bowl filled up! Get it going! What’s taking so long? Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!”

And she looks at me and says “All right Cathy, let’s go!”

Now when it happens, I am so hungry, I can’t think straight. It doesn’t dawn on me that she is saying “Cathy”. However as the urgency of my starvation wears down, it dawns on me. Cathy? Who the hell is Cathy?

Then, once I regain full use of my senses, it dawns on me. She is referring to this:

Here’s a close up of the horror:

And guess what? This Chatty Cathy hasn’t been able to talk for 44 years so I think calling me Cathy after her is an insult.. in more ways than one!

 

Part Two: Exhilarated

I did it! I did it! After years of trying! I did it!!!!!! I finally figured out the correct formula for the Protective Cat Hair Barrier! I have saved us from the Red Devil of Dirt! He is no more! Well, once the Human carries him out to the dumpster he will be no more. I killed him! I killed him dead! First he wouldn’t turn off – like he was possessed (hello.. it’s the devil!) and then the Human unplugged the plug of evil. He stopped. After about 20 minutes she plugged his evilness back in and he wouldn’t come on. She messed with his pedal thingy-ma-bobber and it wouldn’t move up or down! He was Dead! Dead! Ding Dong the Red Devil is Dead!

I did it! I won! Whoooooooo Hooooooo!


Part Three: Confused

Last Saturday, the Human informed me that she was going to get Kenny! Kenny was moving in. I didn’t know who he was, but apparently he is named Ken Moore. I don’t know why he is coming with a name at all, let alone a first and last name.

I didn’t come with a name when I moved in. However, if his name is Ken he must be a boy! A brother! For me! I hope he is orange! He better be orange!

I waited all day. So excited to finally get another male into this household. He probably will like to wrestle! He probably will like to run around! It will be so cool.

Hurry up and get old Kenny and bring him home! Ally-bob and Teva won’t know what hit them. I couldn’t wait! I couldn’t wait!

Then the Human came home. With a carrier! It was a little different than the carrier she takes me to the vet in, and I was a bit concerned as to how poor Kenny could breath.. but there he was! Kenny! My brother!

However, I am now troubled about this adoption. I am not sure but I think Mr. Kenny Moore might be more closely related to The Red Devil than the Orange Tabby. There’s been no wrestling. There’s been no running around. It’s been a very disappointing week. Very confusing.

Here’s Kenny:

 

It’s been disturbing.

It’s been exhilarating.

It’s been confusing.

It’s life with a Human, after all.


Happy New One…

2 Jan

Can I go back to sleep now?

Merry Christmas to All!

25 Dec

Hello all Humans, Cats and Kittens! And Dogs too!

 

How about a look back at Christmas Past….

Whose that Angel? Wait, that ain’t no Angel.. that’s Ally-bob:

Don’t tell her I said so… but she was kind of chubby  back then!  And here too:

Oh boy… Glad she went on a diet!

 

Here’s some of Zeke-boy!

 

Look at Ty! Can you see her in this picture:

 

More of Ally:

 

After Ty and Zeke were gone, they humans had two youngin’s by the name of Teva and Huckleberry.  Or as Old Grandma called them The Darn Small Cats. So Darn Small Cats meant a Darn Small Tree:

They put a red plastic table cloth under it to hide the table and instead it turned out to be perfect for hiding Teva:

And Teva got to play a bit too:

 

We couldn’t find any Christmas Pic of  good ol’ Huck but the Human found this picture that she thought would make a pretty Christmas Card:

 

Notice anyone missing? Someone Orange maybe? Well here are some pictures taken today, but they were taken at a low point in my life:

Look! It’s me and the Christmas Tree:

And Presents! Who are they for????

 

Hold on! None of these are for me??? What??? Huh??? What??? I don’t believe it!!

It’s a sad sad day to be an Orange Cat. I am trying to find something Awesome about it, but I just don’t know….

I guess there is nothing left for me to do then close my eyes and dream of sugarplums dancing in my head .. whatever those are:

 

 

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL… and to all a good night!